Long Distance Relationship Ideas that Helped Me and My partner Keep the Spark Alive
Anyone who has been in a Long-Distance Relationship (LDR) will tell you that it takes a lot of work- and that the distance is one of the major obstacle that couples face. So is the case for me and my long distance girlfriend, Gabbi. I live in California while she is in The Philippines, a distance of roughly over 7,000 miles.
Although we lacked the ability to be physically close to each other, we felt strongly that our relationship shouldn’t have to suffer for it. And with a little work on both our parts, and with the right amount of effort and creativity, we realized we could keep the spark alive even though we were thousands of miles apart.
While we talked often, we both had plenty of time to grow individually and personally. And I used said time as creatively as I can. This led me to a series of romantic projects that focused on growing our relationship- but in turn were such great exercises for me to self-reflect, meditate and get creative.
1000 Origami Paper Crane (Senbazuru)
One of my first big ideas was folding 1000 Origami paper cranes. This practice is called Senbazuru and originated in Japan. It is said that folding 1000 cranes while wishing can grant said wish, usually something to do with with health or wellness. Something I thought was really romantic since I had really one obvious wish: was to be with Gabby.
There are lots of tutorials and guides online on folding cranes. What I found to be most important in folding is the quality of paper, since cheap low quality paper can easily fold the wrong way and leave marks and unwanted creases. I got solid colors and pattered designs which I found very striking.
Initially a single crane took me more than 10 minutes to create as I also added writing each one with an individual hand written personal love note. But as I was able to streamline the process I was able to cut down the time to 6 minutes. And was able to finish 1000 cranes in roughly 4 weeks. The whole process itself was very relaxing and felt very close to a state of meditation as I was doing repetitive actions. Not only was it a gesture she appreciated, but the process brought me closer to her as I thought about other wishes about our future.
All 1000 paper cranes folded neatly in a box.
A real solid plan, a full-fledged proposal for our future
Perhaps one of the greatest mistake in any relationship, in my opinion, is just winging it and not having zero plans for the future. This is especially true for a LDR. This is because an LDR in its true nature is a state caught in between the present and the future. A basic level of goals and expectations must be set and agreed upon by those in the relationship. I took this and tried to raise it to the maximum by writing a thesis paper as a basis of how our LDR would work and operate.
The thesis paper gathered primary data via interviews of people in different stages of LDR and analyzed data via STEEPLE for Macro-factors and SWOT for Micro-factors. The aim was to understand as environment and status of both partners and what could be the basis for a optimized LDR.
The whole bulk of the paper got to over 60 pages and took me 2.5 months to gather data, analyze the data, and write the paper itself. It was very eye-opening experience and helped me see a larger picture of how our relationship looked like and plan on how we would grow it in moving forward.
A copy of the thesis paper can be requested directly to @jryn32 via IG.
“I would walk 7000 miles, and 7000 more”
Perhaps one of my most ambitious project physically is to reach the distance between me and her. With a distance of over 7000 miles between me and her, I aimed to reach said distance via my daily physical routines. This included jogs/walks, beat saber movement in VR, and my computer mouse movement.
The project also worked inline with my new year’s resolution to be more physically active and track my daily movements more. I started with Day 1 on new year’s day and made the goal half of the distance within the year making it potentially a 2 year project.
More than a month in the project, the main contributor in my miles was from playing Beat Saber in VR as I would use it as my workout almost everyday to start my day. My jogs were a bit lacking as I only jog on the weekends for about 30 mins. And my mouse movement, although contributed small increments, added slowly to the project. If I am able to maintain this routine, I should be well in to my goal in 7-8 months.
Throughout the on-going project and much a like any workout, it gave me a sense of self-reflection and mediation. It felt like something I was physically working towards a goal with our relationship in mind. Although it made zero actual contributions to our real relationship, it boosted my moral thru those sad lonely days where I missed my girlfriend.
progress as of 2022
Love is…
My last project for now is full of wishful thinking in a sort-of this can/will be us in the future emotions and is more basic and straight forward in comparison to my other projects. I would simply write love notes based on the wonderful illustrations of Puuung in his book “Love is…”. It is filled with passionately mundane but romantic of everyday love. Something those in LDR long for. A sense of normal but love-filled days where couples can just be together.
The project is very cut-and-dry, I would place sticky notes on the right side of the book along side the illustrations. and I would mail-out her the book and she would do the same on the left side. We would do this for both book 1 and 2 and I would keep 1 book and she the other.
There is a little bit sense of melancholy in longing for what we can not have right now, but it also brings us hope and pushes us towards the future where we are together.
So far, these projects boosted our moral and crated a sense of accomplishment while providing an output for us to be creative. It is something that keeps us pushing and fighting for our love in our own way.
Despite the distance, or perhaps because of the distance, we push forward for our love.
